How to Be a German in 20 Easy Steps

Well, this one's been bouncing around the internet for a while already, but as always I'm way behind on this blogging thing. So I'll share it here too:

"How to Be a German in 20 Easy Steps."

I know, I know, there's already a plethora of these "Oh, Germans are so wacky!" type lists out there, but the thing is...they're so true!

In this case, especially:

#2 (breakfast in Germany is a feast);

#4 (Germans love taking out insurance on everything imaginable – "If someone invented insurance insurance, an insurance against not having the right insurance, we’d all be treated to the sight of 80 million people dying of happiness");

#7 (when in doubt, go take some further training course and rack up even more professional qualifications);

#9 (the default drink for Germans is Apfelschorle, apple juice mixed with sparkling water);

#11 (seriously, who else actually eats Sauerkraut??);

#13 (It's no joke, every person in this country is capable of opening a beer bottle with pretty much any object you might hand them. Lighter? Back end of a fork? Edge of the kitchen table? No object is too odd for a German wanting to access the beer inside that bottle. I bow in awe to this skill that I will never possess);

#15 (Berlin as Germany's black sheep of a capital city: "creative, unpunctual, prone to spontaneous displays of techno, unable to pay its taxes, over familiar with foreigners. To many Germans, Berlin is not really their capital, it's more like a giant art project or social experiment that only turns up when hungover, and in need of a hand out.");

#19 ("Do nothing on Sundays." GRRR everything useful is closed on Sundays GRRR);

#20 ("Watch Tatort," Germany's obsessively loved Sunday evening murder mystery TV show. I don't know why, but Germany really loves murder mysteries.)

#21 (Yes, the list has expanded beyond the original 20 items... This one is about how much Germans love their own type of bread above all others. Which is true.)

#25 (Saying the cheer "Prost" and making eye contact while clinking glasses. I like this cultural tradition, but Brits (who do clink glasses, but don't make eye contact when they do) apparently find it weird.)